CoachCraft with Alf Gracombe
CoachCraft explores the art and impact of coaching youth sports through in-depth conversations with renowned coaches from grassroots to professional levels, revealing how exceptional mentors use athletics to shape character, build confidence, and positively impact young lives.
CoachCraft with Alf Gracombe
Meotis Erikson - Creating Better Journeys for Young Female Athletes
In this episode of the CoachCraft Podcast, Alf Gracombe speaks with Meotis Erickson, a former elite player turned coach, about her journey in soccer. They discuss the evolution of the women's game, the importance of creating healthy environments for young athletes, and the challenges faced by female coaches. Meotis shares her insights on coaching philosophy, the role of parents in youth sports, and the need for more female representation in coaching roles. The conversation emphasizes the importance of continuous learning and the impact of a supportive environment on player development.
On YouTube at https://youtu.be/1IlY1dG-Yr8
For more information about CoachCraft, visit https://coachcraft.info.
Meotis Erikson
I mean, it's so hard to become a professional athlete or so few players, you know, play in a full World Cup or whatever it may be. And so I think when you're when you're working with kids, it's always sort of that, like, you always tell kids to follow their dreams, like you should never be a squasher of dreams, right?
Alf Gracombe
That's right, right.
Meotis Erikson
But I think that's tricky as a parent and a coach. It's also like managing expectations too. I mean, we've seen that a lot in youth sports and again, that's maybe a topic for later, but you know, it's how clear are you sometimes with parents? Like when they're quite confident that their kid is gonna be the next professional and the reality is like so few players get there. ⁓
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Well, let's.
You
Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
So it's important that the journey itself is positive because it's less about, it's much, it's really about the journey and not as much the end result.
Alf Gracombe
What?
Alf Gracombe
Welcome to CoachCraft, a podcast that explores the art and philosophy of coaching youth athletes through conversations with coaches at every level. I'm your host, Alf Gracombe and today I'm excited to welcome Meotis Erickson to the show. Meotis brings a unique perspective to our conversation, having experienced the game from more than a few angles throughout her life. Her journey has taken her from youth national teams to Division I college soccer at Notre Dame.
and then to the professional ranks as part of the first generation of women's professional players in the United States. After her playing career, Meotis transitioned into coaching and now serves as the North Girls Director at Boston area club Intercontinental Football Academy, or IFA, New England, where she's focused on developing the next generation of female players. What makes her story so compelling is how she has navigated the full spectrum of the sport.
from being a highly competitive youth player to becoming a thought-leading, development-focused coach. Her experience spans a period of tremendous change and growth in women's soccer in America. Today we'll dive into Meotis' coaching philosophy, her insights into the evolution of the women's game, and her vision for creating positive environments for young athletes. Enjoy this conversation with Meotis Erickson.
Alf Gracombe
Meotis Erikson, welcome to the CoachCraft Podcast. Great to have you here.
Meotis Erikson
Thank you, thank you for having me.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah, wonderful. Um, well, good morning. Um, and you're in the Boston area. Is that correct? Okay. As am I. So today is a Boston podcast. Um, Meotis, I always love to just start and hear about coaches journeys through the game of, well, in your case, soccer and, but if you can kind of go back, talk a little bit about the early days of you as a child and how you came to the game.
and then kind of ultimately how that led you to coaching. But just as a player first, I'd love to hear your story.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah,
okay, thanks. So I'm originally a West Coast girl. I grew up in Washington state and I think I loved the game from like two on. You I think there was a story where I was about two or three and I grabbed a bowling ball out of my aunt's closet and was like dribbling the bowling ball through the house. So I just always loved to play. ⁓ I'm one of four.
I have two older brothers and a younger sister. We all went on to play college soccer at varying levels. And we were home homeschooled. ⁓ I went my freshman year in high school. They all went in middle school at some point. ⁓ But we spent a ton of time playing in the backyard. So that was where kind of the love of the game. And I actually credit a lot of my development ⁓ to that.
to playing just nonstop two-by-two against my older brothers and my sister. ⁓ So grew up, you know, typical to how a lot of kids start, town soccer. ⁓ My dad coached me kind of in town. My mom was, ⁓ or still is, has been coaching high school soccer for over 30 years, has the most wins in US history as a high school coach. So an unbelievable role model for both of my parents, both educators. So kind of.
Alf Gracombe
my goodness.
Meotis Erikson
their skill in coaching and working with kids was like great. They were great role models for me. you know, played town and then at a pretty young age, probably 11 years old, ⁓ there was a coach who was coaching ODP, Olympic Development, and he spoke to my mom and kind of said, you should have her come try out for ODP.
But the youngest age group was U15, so these girls were like, I don't know, three, four years older than me. But my mom always had this great philosophy of like, she was very competitive, was always like, go try things. It's a really good experience to go to a tryout, see what it's like, right? And so I went and ended up making this U15 team as an 11 year old. ⁓ And that's kind of...
Alf Gracombe
Wow.
Meotis Erikson
where sort of the journey to the youth national team later on started. ⁓ And then, ⁓ and also it was just my personality. I was a very competitive kid. I remember at like seven, eight years old, I think we were playing a town game and I think we were winning like seven nothing and I scored on the goalkeeper and she just, she was done. The game was over, right? She just stood there and I looked at her and I'm like, don't you want to win? ⁓
couldn't understand why. So I was just a naturally very competitive person and always wanted to play. So during that time in middle school, ⁓ we started to kind of go into select leagues. ⁓ But in middle school, I had always played up a year for this kind of select league.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
and or club soccer really and ⁓ my team started to fold and we would go over to the Seattle area which was about a four hour drive and play teams over there. ⁓ And at the time I was a little stuck about where you know can my teams folding you know should I drop down and play in my own age group but my parents were kind of concerned about whether that was the right level for me developmentally. I had played ⁓
Alf Gracombe
Hmm.
Meotis Erikson
ODP with girls who were two, three years older and kind of went on and made the regional team. ⁓ but that didn't seem like that group was the right fit for me. So I was recruited to play on a team based in Tacoma FC Royals. ⁓ and so I think it was either eighth grade or freshman year. My parents made this amazing, like supportive decision of, okay, we're going to drive you four hours there and back to play on this team. Now it ended up being.
just a huge piece of my success because back then, which is I hope someday our club becomes, club environment becomes this, but there was just really one club league, right? So if you did well in your division, you moved up. So at the time I ended up playing for this club for four years and we went on and won a national championship of my age group. So it was a phenomenal.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
phenomenal experience, ⁓ but now I reflect as a parent and a coach and all the driving and I'm like, I don't know how my parents did this, right? Drove four hours, like I would practice on a Saturday, playing a game on a Sunday and four hours on my sleep in the car. I played basketball, so maybe I'd have a Saturday night basketball game, get up at 4 a.m., drive to my 10 a.m. game. But it was really where it was.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
My goodness, yeah.
Meotis Erikson
a huge piece of where I was recruited to play in school. just like I have to acknowledge my parents still to this day for their I mean, I think there's an article out there about how if you were looking for a car to stay away from like the 1989 Buick LeSaver that my dad drove because he had two of them. I think they both got like 500,000 miles on them. ⁓ But anyway, so and then at that same time. Yeah. Yeah.
Alf Gracombe
Can I just, sorry, can I just pause for one sec?
So clearly you're, I mean, you mentioned your mom who's a coach and the winningest coach in high school history. ⁓ So you're coming from.
A competitive, family with competitive folks in it as well, it seems, right? So it's sort of question of like nature versus nurture. You're one of four, actually we have something in common. I'm also one of four and it was very similar. We, you know, had a goal in the backyard, two v two all the time and you know, other kids from the neighborhood as well. But competition was just always happening in that kind of space. And it sounds like your experience was very similar.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah.
Yeah,
it was. I mean, we always loved to play, but I do think, I think it's both. I think it's partially environment, but also like my personality compared to my sibling's personality. You know, we're all competitive, but like my, my soccer drive compared to maybe my brother's soccer drive, we all love the game, but we had a different sort of ⁓ attitude about it, you know? So I think.
Alf Gracombe
just how you're wired.
Meotis Erikson
you know, well, that was the environment. I do think it's also personality, too. I think we are a little how we are. And I think that plays into how we pursue whatever, whatever it is that we're doing, a sport or academics. I think it's it's both. It is environment. But I also think it's personality. ⁓ I just you know, whether it was a card game, whatever it was, like I was competing. Right. And I think ⁓
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
Yes, my mom, but you know, I think, I think my parents set up really great examples of yes, competitive, but work ethic, like whatever it was that they did, just they put the work in. and so I think, for my siblings, and for me, we just had a really great example of like, whatever you do, you might not be the best, but you do your best work at it, you put
if you put best effort in and that we can talk about that later but that has really shaped my coaching philosophy very much. Just that idea. yeah. yeah. So anyway, so then at that same time through ODP, made the, you know, eventually made the youth 16 national team and was into youth national camp and then
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Great, well, let's definitely come back to that.
Meotis Erikson
When I was 17, I made the U21 women's national team and we went to the Nordic Cup and won the Nordic Cup, which was amazing. At the time, there wasn't a World Cup, so that was kind of considered the equivalent at that time. And it was the youngest on the team, so I was playing with all of these college girls and again, it really taught me a lot because that was...
I experienced that a lot. was sort of being the youngest. remember when I went into regional camp, I was 11 and there were all these high school or 14 year olds. They wanted nothing to do with me, right? Like I'd sit by myself in the cafeteria. And at the time it was kind of sad, but I think it really built, and I talked to my players about this, it really built resilience. Like, you know, you'll be right. Although some bumps are not a terrible thing in life, right?
Those things make you stronger. anyway, ⁓ and then junior year of high school, won a club national championship, ⁓ played for my high school team, which I loved. My mom was the coach. There were challenges with that. think anytime you coach your kid, that's very complicated because, yeah, that's a whole nother thing.
Alf Gracombe
I want to do a whole podcast episode on parents and coaching their
kids. Yeah. Yeah. It's a very unique relationship.
Meotis Erikson
⁓ If your kid's really good, that's complicated. If your kid isn't, that's complicated. It's real complicated. But I really respect
her. ⁓ She's very good at, my mom is very good at just doing what she feels is right and not sort of letting the pressure of people's opinions impact her. And I very much respect that in her. ⁓ So from there, I was ⁓ recruited.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
By various schools at the time I had it narrowed down to Stanford, Santa Clara, UConn, UNC, University of Washington is kind of a close to home option and then Notre Dame. And it's interesting because at the time it felt miserable, the process. Like I couldn't, I was so stressed about the decision of where to go, it felt like it was such a big decision.
that I remember I committed on my recruiting trip to Notre Dame and I remember just feeling this like huge weight coming off. But when I went on that trip, it just felt like home. My family's from the Midwest and it just, so I went to Notre Dame and by far for the best years of my life, met some of my favorite people in the world. And we never won a national championship. Sorry, what was that?
Alf Gracombe
Hmm.
So can I just ask, so you're playing, ⁓
well, go ahead. I'll come back to my question in a second.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah, never
won a national championship, which, you know, was a real bummer, but we were always right there. We played in the finals, we played in semis twice, quarters once. But I just think the overall experience, and I think when I speak to kids now, I really try to pass that message along of like, don't go to school just to play soccer. Like it needs to be.
you're happy with the soccer environment. They have what you want to study academically, socially, it's the location. So that was really a gift for me. And then...
Alf Gracombe
So, but while you're in college, you're also
training with the national team program still and.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah,
so I was still playing with the U-21 national team, but I got injured. I had like a tendon pull off like a bone in my hip. And so I was out for a while. So I had been asked into camp. then, ⁓ you know, this was a regret I had looking back. You know, don't know better when you're a young kid, but looking back, like I think when they called me and invited me into camp.
I should have said, yeah, I'll come in, I'm hurt, but can I rehab there? But at the time, the idea of going into camp and being hurt, that felt like, they're gonna think I'm not working hard or whatever. And so I didn't go into camp. And I didn't get back ass back into camp after that, after that injury. And I think that was a lesson, that was a very difficult lesson for me because if I were to do it over again,
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
I would have, I think it was, I'm not sure, I'm not them, but I sometimes wonder, did they think I wasn't like taking the invitation seriously? I have no idea to this day, but I do think that like, that was a life lesson. You don't always know what the right thing to do is in a moment. And again, I was a kid really, you know, probably 18 or I don't know what I was. And so I think, so I had a very bad injury and then, ⁓
Finally recovered, I remember doing laps for hours in the pool, it was miserable. Finally recovered, that was my sophomore year of college. And ⁓ it was just a hard year, ⁓ performance-wise, mentally, because I had come in as a freshman, had a good year, I think I had 20-some goals that season. And then my second season, I think I was like 10 goals. And so it was a year where I struggled. ⁓
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
A lot of athletes go through that, right? have these, think kids think that everything is just gonna be, you're just always gonna go up. And that's really not, that's not how the game is. That's not how life is. It's kind of go up and then you go down, but the downs kind of help you go back up again. So.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
And did you
have that sense? you remember, mean, I know you're looking back and connecting the dots, but at the time, did you feel like, okay, I'm, you know, I'm going to work through this. I'm going to get back on this kind of upward trajectory or did it feel like, you know, am I plateauing? Am I, is this just where I am? ⁓
Meotis Erikson
I mean, I think it's both. think
the idea of quitting never occurred to me. Like I had my goals. I wanted to be in the full team. I wanted to win a world cup. Like I was nothing was gonna stop me from trying to pursue those goals. But I think when you're a very intense athlete being injured, it just feels like you're falling behind in all of the sort of doubt of like, am I gonna?
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
get it back? How am going to get fit again? People are getting better and I'm sitting out now I'm going to have to earn my stop my spot back. Like so I think both of those things can be there, right? Like, yeah, of course, I'm going to try to work my way back. But yeah, it impacts your confidence and in getting getting back to being healthy again is not an easy road. You know, you're you're more prone for injuries as you get fit again and those types of things.
So from there, my senior year, there was a college draft too. It was obviously the inaugural season of the Women's Professional League with the WUSA. And I was drafted, I think in the first round by the Boston Breakers. And that was, think in, I might have the timing off, but sometime in the winter, maybe February.
Alf Gracombe
Around 2000, was it? Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
That was a really interesting time because I went from being drafted to knowing I wanted to graduate to within like a couple weeks going back to school and talking to my professors and saying, can I finish these courses by correspondence? And thankfully they gave me permission. Never been to Boston, didn't have a roommate. I was a roommate with Carina LeBlanc and she...
She at the time, she says, well, I have space, you so I moved in with her, but I remember landing in Boston and getting in like a cab and just being like, where am I? Like, I felt very, it was really an interesting experience trying to finish up school and go somewhere where I had no family. you you're here with all of these, you still feel a bit like a kid, right? And you're with all of these women. Yeah, yeah. ⁓
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Well, we are what 21, 22 at the time. Yeah. And you're
also coming into this. And it's a brand new. It's a brand new league. It's the first women's league, I think anywhere where the athletes were paid. Is that right? I'm sure. Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
Probably 20, 21, no 20, yeah.
Yes, and not enough to live in Boston at all.
Alf Gracombe
So you aren't
being greeted by someone from the club at the airport when you landed in Boston. You're pretty much on your own.
Meotis Erikson
No, definitely not. mean,
they took very good care. Like they were great to you, but still it was times have changed, right? And ⁓ you're going you're just you're worried about can I make a living right off of the salary, but man, I'm getting paid to play like this is a dream, right? But I think and I don't want to speak for all professional athletes, but I do think there's a lot of
people feel that it's very glamorous in their aspects, but also the reality is it is a job and there's a lot of parts about it that aren't easy, right? ⁓ That you can just be treated at any moment, that injury can impact it. It's all, every day you have to perform, right? You have to take care of your body and all of those things. So, ⁓ came to Boston ⁓ and was playing with some women I played with at Notre Dame, like Kate Markgraf was on the team.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
⁓ You know, there were tons of women I played with against in college. ⁓ So it was this, was an amazing experience, but here I was one of, if the youngest on the team, if not the youngest, maybe the second youngest on the team. And I played up top and we, at the time, were playing with two up tops. So the two strikers that were there were both international players, Mara and Minard.
who I think was the MVP of the World Cup when Germany won, and then Dagny Mellgren, who scored the game winning goal for Norway when they won gold in the Olympics. So here I am this kid, really, and that's my competition, right? So that was difficult to come into that environment and go, okay, so I'm gonna have to really work my way into this, right? Which is not easy when you're competitive. I'm sorry?
Alf Gracombe
Yeah. Was this the first time you came in? Yeah.
mean, was this the first time you'd really come into an environment where you had those elite, elite athletes in front of you basically?
Meotis Erikson
Well, I
mean, not no, because at national camp, right, we would have we had like joint we had a few joint camps with the full team, right, where we'd have five, five matches, you know, mixed with the full national team. We had at one of our under 21 camps, when you would come in the first day of national camp, you'd have what was called mentality day, where ⁓
Alf Gracombe
Right, okay.
Meotis Erikson
you would, let's say you were a striker, you would play 1v1 against the other strikers to big goals with goalkeepers. And then it was all this fitness and they kept track of all of your wins, losses, right? So you're just battling the people in your position. Well, I remember one camp, I don't know if Michelle Akers was coming back. I don't know what happened, but she trained with us that day, right? So I remember, you know, that was who I had to do my one-on-one against.
Alf Gracombe
Are
you serious?
Meotis Erikson
And
I mean, you know, at the time, I think I still look back, think we were, don't remember how long the games were, but I think I was winning with maybe one, maybe one nothing with not a lot of time. And then she got two quick ones and I was like, ⁓ my God. But so no, I had, I was, was, but, but,
Alf Gracombe
Hmm.
You were up on Michelle Akers briefly, so you can at least say that. That's amazing.
Meotis Erikson
But what an honor, right, to be in that environment with those women. that's probably a conversation, but what those women did for the game is just something that I'll always be grateful for. But anyway, so no, I had played with at least US women who were the top women. And I had played against U-21.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
international players. But that was the first time that yeah, going and playing pro you were, I think at the time it was like each, there were what, eight teams, 20 players on a roster. Every team had four international players. And then there were either two to four US women's national team players. I don't remember the number allocated. And then the rest was for the rest of us, right?
So there were very few spots that you were, you know, to get on a team. Eight teams wasn't a lot of teams. It's hard to describe kind of the level of some of those international players and top players. I remember playing against New York one game and maybe, I don't know if it was the captain, but one of Norway's top defenders. I remember she hit me so hard in a tackle.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
I was like, don't think I want to play soccer anymore. Like I don't want to get up. I don't know, but really, and I think that's something that through coaching you try to describe to players, but they don't quite, the levels, the levels are just huge. The level from town to club to high level club to D3 versus top D1 to pros to internationals.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
Like it's really hard to put into words the levels. ⁓ So played for a year, Torman Meniscus rehabbed in the fall of my second year, was trying out. My coach basically said, you're killing it. Like right now I've got you in the starting lineup with these two players. And then I broke my ankle that day. ⁓ But it was one of those breaks where like the bone chipped off. So... ⁓
Doctor's like, you can play on it, but I didn't play very well. So I kind of hobbled around for a few weeks. We went down, I think we were in North Carolina playing a team from Atlanta. And in the game, I went up to head the ball and I got head in the head and split my head open, damaged some nerves in my neck. So at that point, I was done. I wasn't Kristine Lilly, right? I wasn't gonna have a spot, right?
And so I didn't make the team. Was devastated. I remember just kind of feeling like, now what, right? Hindsight being 2020, there's no way that I could have played probably because I ended up having post-concussion syndrome for about a year, headaches and issues for a year. But at the time, I just, I didn't know better, right? So that was.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
That was would have been 2002 and then I started to think about trying out again. Well, I wasn't I mean, I was playing a little bit. I was starting to think about playing, but I was out for about a year and then the league folded in 2003. And then.
Alf Gracombe
So you were back, you were playing again, you were healthy.
Meotis Erikson
From there, I went on, I had kids, and I remember when the league came back, I think it was 09 if I'm remembering the years correctly, forgive me if I've got the years wrong, but I had my oldest kiddo in 08, and I remember thinking like, maybe I'll go back, and then I kind of just said no, I want to be around to kind of raise my kid. ⁓ But it was devastating.
It was very hard for me. mean, you never know. Maybe you, maybe I would have never had the opportunity to get with the full team. That's like to get there. Maybe it would have happened even if wouldn't have happened, even if I had been healthy. Absolutely. But I think it was disappointing to feel like I didn't have the ability to try. And it was difficult to watch players who I had maybe made the U-21 team over when I was younger.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
go on and win World Cups with the US team, that was really hard for me. ⁓ So it took a long time for me to kind of move out of that headspace.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Yeah, I can imagine. mean, your story, it's fascinating and amazing. But it also, it's a reminder of what goes into that journey from the youth. I mean, everybody starts in grassroots at some point and just hearing you talk about it, right? And getting to this elite level fairly early and you were young with the age group you were playing with. But then...
Meotis Erikson
Mm-hmm.
Alf Gracombe
still, you know, each level, right, you're getting to the next level, the pyramid's getting narrower, and you're playing with elite players, and then there is some degree of just good or bad fortune involved in this, right?
Meotis Erikson
Yes, 100%.
There's a little bit of luck involved. There just is. you stay healthy. It is, it is. It's being healthy. It's being at the right place at the right time. All of those things. ⁓ But I also think, you we talk about this with the players, like you control what you can control, right? We're not gonna like get into it with the refs. We don't control the refs. So you can't.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah, and that's very hard to accept. Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
You can do what you can to train, to prevent injuries, all those things. But yeah, there's a little bit of luck or just the right opportunity, the right timing. And those pieces, it's hard, but you don't have control.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
And, know, as a young competitive person and you're, you know, you, you don't have the benefit of a lot of hindsight in your life at that point. And just to have perspective around that. So, yeah, I mean, I'm listening to your story and we, I'd heard a version of it earlier, but hearing it again now, I'm like, that's devastating and just, it feels unfair on some level, but you're probably one of many other, I know you are here, one of many other athletes who had a very similar story. And, ⁓ yeah.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah!
Yeah, and I think you, ⁓ I mean, it's so hard to become a professional athlete or so few players, you know, play in a full World Cup or whatever it may be. And so I think when you're when you're working with kids, it's always sort of that, like, you always tell kids to follow their dreams, like you should never be a squasher of dreams, right? ⁓
Alf Gracombe
That's right, right.
Meotis Erikson
But I think that's tricky as a parent and a coach. It's also like managing expectations too. I mean, we've seen that a lot in youth sports and again, that's maybe a topic for later, but you know, it's how clear are you sometimes with parents? Like when they're quite confident that their kid is gonna be the next professional and the reality is like so few players get there. ⁓
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Well, let's.
You
Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
So it's important that the journey itself is positive because it's less about, it's much, it's really about the journey and not as much the end result.
Alf Gracombe
What?
Yeah. So let's, let's, let's talk about that. Cause you, okay. You were a player and then injury essentially put an end to your career as well as the league folding. there just wasn't an opportunity kind of when you came out of that injury crisis. And so you're away from the game for a bit. Um, and eventually, and I know there's a lot to fill in there, but just to fast forward a little bit. You.
came to coaching or coaching came to you. So how did that how did that happen?
Meotis Erikson
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so, you know, basically got hurt, had kids and really a lot of people suggested now looking back, I wish I would have done all my licensing, but I was just almost very bothered that people suggested coaching. I wanted nothing to do with it. I was just like, no, I don't. I want to play. If I can't play, I don't want to be. It was too traumatic. Didn't want to be around the game, really. ⁓
But then started to coach when my oldest was about six, started in town soccer. You know, as a boy and doing the town and that environment was interesting for me, I think as a female coach, there's experiences that are not the greatest as a female coach, right? So, but started to do town soccer with him and then
started to kind of get into club soccer, but as like a volunteer ⁓ on a volunteer basis, like just coaching my kids, right? So ⁓ did that for a number of years, coaching my kids in town in club as a volunteer. And then I was coaching boys and girls. Yes. And then and then also at the time I just to kind of plug in there during the period that
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
And you have boys and girls where you're coaching both boys and girls.
Meotis Erikson
you know, when I stopped playing, went and I got into teaching. I, ⁓ I basically, ⁓ got a dual masters in elementary ed and literacy and, ⁓ had a bunch of different experiences. worked at a school with kids, ⁓ who with special needs and, all these things. And so that kind of fed into coaching as well, just working with children and all of that. So,
Anyway, ⁓ started to get into club and then I got a started, my mom and my father had come out to visit and they were going to a coaching conference and they're like, just come with us. So I went and they were offering the grassroots courses and ⁓ they, I'm like, well, why not? I'll just go to these meetings and take this course, right?
So I got my grassroots and I was very frustrated at the time because I had asked if I could jump levels in a license with my professional career, but they had changed the policy. So I had to like start from the very beginning, because like you had had X number of professional years, right? If I had done it years before, I could have jumped right to the beat, but I had to start through grassroots. So went back.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
worked at, got a club, started working at a club in Newton, became the girls director there. I did my D and my C. And then I went on coaching ECNL at a different club and just kind of decided to go through the coaching process. But really like getting the license is something. It's a, it's like a full time job, you know, trying to raise kids and, and, and work a job and do the licensing. So.
I just kind of fell, I fell back in love with the game and started to share my love of the game. And then the more that I took with the courses and those things, the more I just got more serious and back into the game. So that's kind of the short version of how I got back into coaching.
Alf Gracombe
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. So
do you feel like on some level, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but through coaching, it gave you a pathway back into the game through teaching as well. And perhaps even having kids and maybe seeing this through that lens.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah, I think so. And I think we all get
to the point where the game ends for all of us as a player. No matter what that is, the game ends for all of us. Like you can go. Yeah, you can go play on teams maybe when you're older, but the game, if like if you're an intense player, the way that you want to play that ends like where you sell your mind that you your body, you want to do something, but you're like, yeah, that didn't happen. Right? Like I knew what I wanted to do, but
Alf Gracombe
Yes.
Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
my knee hurts or whatever. So ⁓ I do think it was how I got back into the game and how I've been able to share my love of a sport with other kids and with kids and hopefully impact kids in a positive way.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
And so, yeah, not every former player coaches. So you're, you you mentioned your background and there's a, it sounds like there's a thread already of coaching and teaching in your family. And so you kind of had that and, and, and you were encouraged to then, you know, to coach as you were saying a moment ago. ⁓
But, but yeah, so how talk about now a little bit about coaching. mean, sure. There's the credentialing, but like, okay, you're out on the field now you're impacting young lives. You're seeing this up close and you know, these are real people with real. Families. You mentioned the parents who maybe think one thing about their child, but
How do you frame this for families and for kids about what this experience of playing, whether it's club or grassroots or whatever at those earlier ages, what does this mean in a broader context when it's already kind of loaded with expectations and emotion and these things?
Meotis Erikson
you
Yeah, I think
it's really complicated because I think a huge area of growth for the game and youth development is parent education. ⁓ It's a huge piece, right? Because I think my coaching philosophy, is sort of, it's a melding of all things. It's like part educator, it's part player in my experiences, it's part coaching courses, ⁓ just experience alone, trial and error.
⁓ But there's so much education that needs to happen for parents ⁓ about youth development in the game. know, too often, I mean this happens every weekend, you show up at a soccer game, whether it's a town game, whether it's a club game, and coaches or parents are absolutely losing it on the sidelines, right? And so we've...
we unfortunately too often it's not a good environment for kids. And I understand I'm a parent, right? We all want what's best for our kids. So we're just excited or we think that if we tell them what to do on the field, they're gonna get better. But really for me, it's a huge piece of educating parents. So like for example, at my club in the regions that I run, we have a zero parent coaching policy. And that's because
Alf Gracombe
Yes.
Meotis Erikson
And it's explaining to parents, listen, I understand that you feel that if your daughter is playing or your son is playing and you say, pass to Susie, right? And they pass to Susie and Susie passes to Tiffany and we score, everybody's excited and you feel like that was a success, right? But the reality is it hinders development because what happens is the player on the ball
they didn't read the cues in the moment of why that was what the decision that needed to be made. And now they can't replicate it. We're not making decisions. And too often you see players freezing in game or stressed out and they can't develop. So really the first thing for parents is to like just be quiet, right? Like let them play. And I think they think that if they're making mistakes, that's bad, but that's not, that's how they learn and develop, right? ⁓
Alf Gracombe
Right. Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
And I think for a lot of coaches too, like this fear-based, like even your top athletes, confidence is huge, right? So you help players, you instruct them, but like when we coach them and they're fearful, they don't play their best game. So there's just a long way to go in how we educate parents about how to support their kids.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Is it a matter of how the experience is framed for both players and parents? Like, it's easy enough to say, yes, youth soccer is developmental. It should be developmental. Even when you show up for your Saturday game.
This is a developmental experience. Yes, there's going to be a score. Somebody will win. Somebody will lose. Maybe you get the best result, which is like a draw but is it a matter of framing and, and is it just, you know, soccer is messy, right? There are a lot of mistakes. There's more failure than success in a lot of ways, or you could argue, but yeah, what do you do to help orient people around this experience as developmental?
Meotis Erikson
Well, you know, I usually have parent meetings and then I have to kind of step in and be very firm with parents when...
Alf Gracombe
And now you having to do
this like during games, do you find? Are you? Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
⁓ sometimes during games, yes. Sometimes
during games, we've had, it ⁓ can be an ongoing issue, right? During games, if it gets real bad, definitely. ⁓ But yeah, during games, before games, after games, conversations, And even when a lot of times parents, they go, we're so sorry. But it really is an education process because it takes a while for most of
them to see like you telling your player what to do hinders their development. Like it's hurting their development, right? And ⁓ even for some, it's real hard to stop. ⁓ But being firm is important and we have to keep doing that to protect the players.
Alf Gracombe
Right. Right.
Yeah, yeah, it's just it is such a strange dynamic because on some level you're trying to protect children from their own parents and that's a very awkward place for a coach to be in. I mean, I will share just a quick experience I had just a couple of seasons ago. This is third and fourth grade town soccer. It is as low stakes as it gets. And there was a parent. ⁓
Meotis Erikson
It is. It is.
Alf Gracombe
just very into, you know, felt the team needed to be trying harder, felt like, you know, and, and I, when I approached the guy very gently, I thought it was very gently and he was not in a place to be, to have this conversation. And immediately, like, you know, he thought I was doing something against his kid and the kids out there.
And I was like, OK, let's, you know, let's like step back. So ultimately it was a fine conversation. We shook hands, but it was like, wow, that got intense very quickly. And I know this guy wants what best. Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah.
It's really common. It's really
common. Like what you're describing is an every weekend thing. Every weekend at multiple games. Every weekend. And so, you know, we were at our club. We were working with a group, a pro group ⁓ in Europe. One of the top youth academies for developing players in the world.
their director was on, he's like, listen, one of the most important things is to be silent more, say less, right? And even as a coach, know, like at through my A, right? I'm almost done with that process. And it's like, can you freeze it less? Can you talk less? Can you talk less? Say less. And so, and it's not easy, especially as a coach, but
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Even as a coach, right? ⁓
Meotis Erikson
Parents, think, I believe that parents want what's best for their kids. ⁓ But they have to, you know, coaching's a funny thing. It's like one of those few like professions where it seems like everybody kind of knows how to do it, right? It's like people might never even play and they still will coach. So I think it's a tricky environment. ⁓
in parent education and it's not always going to be perfect, but that's a huge piece of it, is educating the parents on how to support their kid and behavior and the conversations to have with their kid after a game, those types of things.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. I find that you just cannot over communicate in this space, like in terms of, of, because I do, I think a lot of people do from the outside, they look at coaching and they have some understanding of it or they think, yeah, I can just do it. can start instructing and you'll see the parent like literally on the sideline, right? Like always usually focused on their kid and starting to give these very specific instructions. And you're just like, what could be worse than that?
And so just having to really reiterate, you know, I always encourage our coaches and our town program here. It's like, you know, get that messaging out before the first game, before the first practice, set some expectations. And as much as you do that, you're still going to run up against that, but. Right.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah, well, and even when you do, it's still a problem. ⁓
And I find right now it's worse in the younger age groups. I don't know if, I don't know, but it really seems to be a big problem with the real little age groups. ⁓ But yeah, it's just constantly educating and having hard conversations at times too.
Alf Gracombe
Well, ⁓ let's pivot if we can, stay in the youth game, but ⁓ I'd love to talk a little bit about specifically the girls game and how.
youth girls soccer is changing and developing in this country. I think you have a particularly unique perspective. You, know, a generation ago were playing at an elite level as a, as a girl, as a young girl, 11 year old, think, you know, playing with this, uh, you know, more advanced program. So you've kind of seen it. Those are, think safe to say relatively early days in, in, in the women's game, girls game.
to where we are today. And, you know, it's certainly grown. The U.S. women's team, you know, as you mentioned earlier, has really put the sport on the map, the women's game in particular, in the U.S. And the women's team has continued to be successful at the national level. We have Emma Hayes coming in now from Chelsea, from England, and she seems very intent on...
advancing the US in the women's game more broadly even further. just maybe an initial kind of reflection on how the girls game and the women's game has evolved ⁓ since you started playing what you see today versus what you saw before.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah, so I think the game has changed a ton, right? So obviously, mean, thinking back to when my mom was in college, they didn't have sports for women, right? They just didn't have those opportunities. Title IX comes in, which was huge for women in sports. And then, your Michelle Akers, your Kristine Lillys those folks did so much.
For the game just kind of trailblazing and creating opportunities for girls in the game ⁓ When I was young right there were no there were no pro leagues like it wasn't even that wasn't even something that you could dream of because there was not a league So in that aspect the get we have come Such a long way, you know, there's there are pro opportunities. I think when I played in college
You know, players were amazing, but there were just not as many teams that were good. Right now there's become a lot more parity in the college game. There's so many teams that have a chance to go far in the tournament. and you know, just the pro environment. remember when I played pro, you know, we were sharing a locker room with the athletes at BU and you didn't make enough to, to live in Boston and,
So just the way the opportunities, the way that athletes are treated both in college and the game, that's huge, right? Even on the coaching side, right? You know, they have things where you have scholarships for two, for women who are getting their A or B license and trying to support women coaching in the game. One thing that's interesting that has changed in
I'm not sure it's for the better. When I played, there was really one club league, right? So there were divisions. If you were in the top division and you won a national championship, you were the best team in the country. Now what we're seeing is there's so many leagues in the youth game, right? And so I think that that, I'm not convinced that that's helped.
Alf Gracombe
Yes. Yes. ⁓
Hmm.
Meotis Erikson
the game for girls because I think what happens is, ⁓ know, right now you have what most will tell you are the top leagues for girls, youth girls, it'll be Girls Academy and ECNL. But I think it's complicated for parents because what they're told is like these two options are the only pathway, right? They're the only pathway for college, they're the only pathway for pros.
And I think what happens is not all clubs can get into those leagues, right? And so maybe a kid is stuck with an option of maybe this club at their age group, they feel like, I've got to play here because I want to go to college, but the environment isn't very healthy. So then do I choose a healthy environment or do I choose this thing that looks like it's the correct pathway?
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
And I think when the playing field is leveled for clubs, they have to do better, right? If everybody has access to leagues, then everybody has to do a good job because parents have choices, right? And so I think that has changed and I think that's a huge area that needs to be examined. I think now that we have a pro league, I think...
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. ⁓
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
those conversations maybe need to be had or at least considered about how do we now, yes, we have our pro teams and that's the priority for them, but can they have a positive impact on these youth leagues? Because there are so many, so many of them. I mean, poor parents, right? I have so many conversations with parents where like, can you just, it's like I need a flow chart, right? I don't know what is this league and what is this league and where is my kid and what division is this in?
Is this league better than this league? And so I that piece of the game, don't know that, I don't love where that is, ⁓ but I think 100%, 100%.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah, it's the same on the boys side as well. mean, they have MLS next.
And so there is this more direct, I guess, name and pathway up to the professional league here. But I imagine that may come about on the girls side as well at some point.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah, I
mean, I hope I just think if they have a seat at the table, I think it helps create healthier environments. So for me, that's a big concern that I have is we need to make these environments more leveled out and then demand that the environments are healthy across the board. And right now they're not. They're not all they're not some maybe the pathway is better, but it's not a great environment or whatever it may be. So I think that's really changed.
And then I think the other piece is sort of just how we've changed how we think about developing the female athlete. Right? So, I mean, I can speak to my, I love Notre Dame, but you know, when we were in the weight room, we trained like the Notre Dame football team, right? I mean, throwing tires around and all these things that like, we've really come a long way in that.
Alf Gracombe
Really? That's... Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
recognizing that the female body of a male body is different and it needs to be trained differently. There's a lot of research going into females and cycles and injury prevention and just periodization and how we plan for injury prevention and all of that. And I think Emma Hayes has touched on that a little bit of like, we've always looked at the women's game through the men's lens she talks about, right? So how do we look at the women's game through the women's game?
Right? Not, so we have to, but that's tricky. You're changing thought processes of how you view something completely. So it's happening. There's research going into athletes and cycles. There's research in how to train, you know, women versus men. It's becoming sport specific, which years ago it wasn't sport specific. So we're making a lot of progress, ⁓ but I think there's still a long way to go.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting because the game, the women's game, it has, you know, in the last, let's just say, 25 years, it really has developed. mean, undeniably, you said it earlier and certainly with the 99ers, so the women's team in 1999, like really putting it on the map. And since then, you know, participation by girls is up.
And so the game has progressed, but it's really only been the last couple of years where there's been a conversation that started around these physiological considerations and injury prevention being different and conditioning, weight training, et cetera. But.
You don't, you know, do we need to go all the way back and kind of start over in this way, or is it more just a matter of bringing in some of these ideas? Like where are women, where are girls different and how do we now integrate that into the, the, the, development of young players?
Meotis Erikson
⁓ I
don't think you need to start over, but I think, and again, just the piece about Emma Hayes and her philosophy, and obviously I'm not an expert on her, all of her philosophies, but I think her point in kind of what I've seen is even how we as coaches are training, ⁓
Goal scoring opportunities, right? Okay. Well, if we're looking to have goalscoring opportunities in this area of the field with men, right? Why are we looking to have that with women? Right? So I know some people have talked about like the ability to hit a driven ball for a man versus the distance of the ability to hit a driven ball, maybe to switch the point of attack for a woman. Like women can hit a driven ball over distance, but like what is the, is there a variation in that distance? Does that change how you play? Does that change?
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
how you attack. ⁓ So I think that, and again, I'm not an Emma Hayes expert by any means, but I think that is sort of the idea. It's not just around how that piece, but it's all encompassing. How does the female athlete mind work? It is a bit different. I have coached boys and girls. And the way that my girls and their confidence and the mentality, I mean,
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
I think sometimes people have this idea that girls are not competitive. ⁓ I have like, we talk a lot about being competitive at practice and being feisty. I mean, I always liked that about Anson Dorrance's book where he talks about protecting the take on artist, right? And that they just created very competitive. Girls are highly competitive, right? ⁓ But I do think there can be aspects of how
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
girls think about things and boys think about things that impacts training. And so I think that's kind of her point. When you're developing, you know, when you're developing the female athletes versus the male athletes, you do have different approaches. You know, I think someone said this one time and I thought it was an interesting point. Like, you know, if a...
If a boy walks by, like a lot of boys, walk by a mirror, they might pick out like the one good thing that looks good. I mean, like, my hair looks pretty good today. But you know, like a girl might walk by and be like, looks pretty great, but she's going to pick the one thing that doesn't. And I think there are some pieces there, right? Or, or teen dynamics with.
Alf Gracombe
Pick out the bad thing? Yeah. Alright.
Even like saying sorry, right?
Like, girls say sorry more on like the field, like they make it, Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
yeah, we see that all the time. Like they will
fall down and stop and I'm like, why are you apologizing? Go score. You can check on your teammate later. Like, mean, a little bit, right? And so it is, we do have to think about how we're training females versus males. Some of it's the same. Some of it's very similar, right? ⁓ But if we don't, if we don't like change our lens a little bit, like
Alf Gracombe
Yeah. Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
It isn't the same. There are some differences and we have always sort of tried to do it the same way and I think we're starting to realize, okay, we could be better at this from top to bottom.
Alf Gracombe
So
I think I know the answer to this question, but how important is it that we get more female coaches in the game?
Meotis Erikson
It's really
important. And I'll say this, I am not against men coaching girls. I actually think that's just as valuable in specifically in that like it's really important for female athletes to interact with positive male role models too. That is deeply important. But we also have to have a lot more women coaching because I know as a player, it was so important.
I will never forget the moment where I knew I wanted to play in a World Cup. I was about 11 and ⁓ the women's national team had won the M&M Cup. They wouldn't call it the World Cup because they thought that was offensive to men at the time. ⁓ And they had won and ⁓ I believe the MVP was Carin Jennings or now Carin Gabarra And she was...
My mom was very good about hearing about all these random things, right? But she had found out that she was going to be signing autographs at this hole in the wall soccer shop at some tournament. So she kind of drug me there and I met her and she signed these atrocious pair of like green and black checkered shorts, which I they were like my favorite shorts. ⁓ Meeting her was was like life changing.
life changing. just, looked at her and I was like, I want to be you. I want to do this. If you can do this, I can do this. And so I really think, I really think that we have to have women in these roles. We have to have women in roles of leadership because it just tells girls you can, right? And so it's not.
that we can't have male coaches, that is very important, but we need to have a lot more female coaches. And we need to have a lot more women in leadership because that is how you change how these girls think about what they can do. And that's important.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah. So I think I agree with that a hundred percent. ⁓ of course. So women in leadership roles in within the game, super important, but then also like just the day to day, right? You've got, you're on the field three times a week with your grassroots team. Just as an example, you got two training sessions in a game. ⁓ you know, in our local program, it's usually the dads who are the volunteer coaches. We have some women and.
But it's not the level of participation and coaching that we want. But those moments on the training pitch, right? That's the sum of the experience for a child is all of these little moments on the field. yes, some of these dads are great coaches and they love their daughters and they're having a blast out there and the teams are getting better, the players are getting better, and it's a great experience. ⁓
Meotis Erikson
Yeah
Alf Gracombe
Yeah, how do we get more women coaches into the game? Even at that level, you know, just the moms, the volunteer moms, right?
Meotis Erikson
Well,
I think it's, you we talked about this, I'm part of a mentorship program for women, like with their A's and their B's. And these are hard conversations because there are challenges for female coaches that are not normally there for men, right? So women still typically are due the primary child rearing, right? So even just the ability to go.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
to attend a course like your A course, right? Getting all of the kid coverage situated in the carpooling and all the babysitting and the things, right? That usually falls on women. But also, you know, to be candid, it's still kind of a, at times, a hostile environment for female coaches. I have in my region, you know, there are, I have a ton of women working with me.
Alf Gracombe
Right.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
And we all have similar stories, right? Whether you're at a coaching course and there's an inappropriate comment or, you know, other coaches being disrespectful or the, she's just a mom. Like there's usually this idea that because you're a woman, you don't actually know as much about the game. Right. And that happens daily, daily, no matter. ⁓ yes.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm. Even to a person like you,
who has played the game at the level that you've played it at. I mean, I shouldn't be surprised to hear this and I don't want to...
Meotis Erikson
Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No, no, I remember one
game. I'm coaching. It's a 7 v 7 game, and there's a foul. And I mean, it was a college kid roughing the game, and I have a policy where I never say anything to refs, whether they're really good or not very good, because I feel like I have to model for my players, control what you control, because I'm pretty quiet about.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, super important, yeah.
Meotis Erikson
about
refs. But we had this moment where we get a foul and at 7v7 one of our players puts the ball down and plays a like nobody plays a quick restart at 7v7. That's practically unheard of right? This beautiful quick restart, through-ball in, we score on a breakaway. The ref, poor guy, he calls it back, stops it and says, well he wanted to sub.
I'm like, I'm sorry, like you can't, cause you know the rules had changed where now ref's discretion, you can sub sometimes on a free kick, right? On a stoppage of play. But I'm like, yeah, but you can't, you can't take our advantage away. Like you have to make that decision of like, you're not going to stop. That's not the time to sub, right? So the coach I was coaching against turns to me. He's like, you can stop on a stoppage. I said,
Yeah, but not you. can't take her advantage of what you just listen. I watch a lot of soccer. What? Well, there we go then. I mean, I guess because you watch soccer, then you but I mean these things there are far there are far worse things that happen on a regular basis and it's it's not it's everyone like I said inappropriate comments at a coaching course.
Alf Gracombe
⁓
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Yeah, right, right, right.
Meotis Erikson
And they're working, like my A-youth has been a phenomenal experience. Like a hats off to U.S. Soccer, the directors, the instructors have been unbelievable. And it's been this great blended experience where it's like half men in the program, half women. It was fantastic. The co-coaches were fantastic. So we're having a lot of positive experiences, but there are still almost weekly,
interactions for me or for my female staff, it's not great. And so I think it's, you know, even just sometimes parent behavior that you have, you talk to your male coworkers, they're like, no one would ever do that. Like, no one would ever try to pull that behavior in our environment. And so we do need more women in, but it's difficult.
because A, the environment at times is not great, and B, ⁓ a lot of logistical things fall on women with, and that's part of why they set up things like scholarships and different things to help with programming for higher level licensing, but it's still very challenging. I mean, when you're getting your A, right, you've got to travel.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
three times and it's not easy. ⁓ So I think we need to do a better job of supporting women in the game, but we have a long way to go.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I think that's clear. And, you know, I think all of these things can be true, right? There's certainly the landscape is very different than it was a generation ago. And, you know, let's make note of that progress. And there's tons of positives to take away, but also we need to recognize like there is still a long way to go. And, you know, whether you're at the grassroots level, the professional level, everywhere in between, that's still the case, certainly. But.
So let's look ahead, right? Let's look at the next 10 years. Where do you see the game going both ⁓ for girls and boys? But I think while we're on the topic of girls, know, kind of looking at what you've seen at the club level, the youth, ⁓ like where do you see the developments happening and what are you excited about?
Meotis Erikson
I mean, I'm excited about, as you said, just the interest in the game for girls. ⁓ I'm very excited that we do have people recognizing that, you know, even the audiences that are now watching pro games or the World Cup is great. ⁓ So I think the game is going to continue to grow,
⁓ My hope, my hope is that along with that growth, ⁓ that we do a better job of creating healthy environments for players. That's a huge area of concern for me and I think a place where we have a lot of room for improvement. Right, we see how much money the game can bring people, especially at the club level.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
Meotis Erikson
So my hope
is, you know, can we bring along with that the morals and the ethics of there are too many young girls that are quitting the game needing mental health support because of the game and that's just that that has to stop. I don't think that's a quick fix, but my hope is that as we're continuing to provide opportunities at the professional level, as we're continuing to, you know, have more opportunities in the college game with more parity.
that we're doing a better job at the youth level, both in coaching, coaches creating a healthier environment, and also parents getting better at supporting youth. ⁓ And then tying in with that kind of our knowledge about just female athletes in general.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
as a whole, as a human, right? What does that look like? How are we doing a better job of developing not just their technical and tactical ability, but ⁓ their bodies, their mental ⁓ growth, performance mindset. Performance mindset is an area where I would love to continue to learn a lot more. I took a great course. ⁓
Alf Gracombe
him.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
recently and I think it's just we can be a lot better at that. How do we help not just girls but boys with performance mindset because it's something that runs across life, right? How do you get through bad days? How do you get through the stress of your schoolwork? Whatever it may be. So ⁓ I think there's a lot of excitement there but like anything we still have a long way to go.
Alf Gracombe
Right.
Yeah, there's headwinds for sure. And I love what you said about creating these environments for better environments, right? And I think this is for me where this idea of values come into the conversation. And like everybody sees the world differently, right? But when we're talking about kids, when we're talking about education, when we're talking about development,
It's not just about what's happening on the field. It's about also everything around the field. And I...
You know, I, I love these conversations. It's part of why I started this podcast in the first place was to get to talk to these coaches. And naturally I am, you know, having people on the show who are like-minded with me, but are seeing coaching through this, this many of them through a very kind of values and, and, and, know, ethics oriented lens. And I think that's so, so important. I think every, it's a problem on the boys side too. I just think these issues, you know, like I'm a man.
I have a son, but I've coached girls and I have a lot of friends and I know a lot of families that have players that are girls. So I've seen it for sure, but I feel like all of these issues, they show up in both places. They're just always more acute on the girls' They seem to be more potentially problematic on the girls' side. And even at the grassroots level on our town program, we...
we've kind of plateaued on registration numbers with girls, right? And I don't know why that is because it seemed to be going up at one point and maybe it's because it's the city, there's just different, you know, cultural or socioeconomic dynamics that are coming into play, but it seems like it's hitting the girls first or hardest.
Meotis Erikson
Well,
I think being deeply involved in this world, I get just too many negative reports, negative experiences. And we're looking at kids who are seven, eight. Like, how are we already having bad experiences? Like, your kid's young, they're just starting, and these are bad experiences.
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
I had to send an email to parents one time just because of parent behavior and I asked some uncomfortable questions of parents, but things like, reflecting as a parent, maybe looking in the mirror and asking yourself, why am I stressed at my kid's soccer game? Or why is their success or failure so important to me?
⁓ What kind of experience am I hoping for them? Like, what does it say about you as a person or a parent if you are that agitated at a game or you can't just sit back and like watch a game? I love that picture of Messi at the game watching his kid. Like he's leaning back, just relaxing. Like if you have someone who's the best, one of the best players in the world,
Alf Gracombe
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Meotis Erikson
can just relax at a game. Like why can't you relax? Why are you stressed at a child's soccer game? Why are you upset that your kid who is a town soccer player is making a mistake? Why would you think that they're gonna play a perfect game of soccer? There is no perfect game of soccer. Not even the pros play a perfect game of soccer. So why do we have these expectations that these kids are gonna go out and play a perfect match?
Alf Gracombe
All right.
Meotis Erikson
You know, I say to my players all the time, listen, you get to make mistakes. Make as many mistakes as you want. Best effort. You must give me intensity and best effort. But like, and I'll say to my parents and educating, listen, I'm going to teach them to build out of the back. That means that they'll probably make a ton of bad passes and we might get scored on 10 times fine. But that's how we develop because if we can't teach them the technical and tactical ability to do that, let's say we just kick the ball.
Alf Gracombe
Great.
Meotis Erikson
every time. We're not getting better. And at some point, they won't be able to play the game because the game will move past them. And I think that's especially interesting for really good athletes, right? We have to work really hard to actually focus on the really good athletes because kids who are smaller and slower, they have to solve the game in another way, right? They have to develop their technique or their IQ or the game passes them.
But these kids who are really good athletes often don't get developed because all they do is run past people. And so it's educating parents on that too. Again, I really think parents have to sit with that question. Like, are you living vicariously through your child? Because why are you angry? Why are you angry? It's a youth soccer game.
Alf Gracombe
Right,
the answer is oftentimes. that's right. Right. Right. I
yeah. I mean, can you we need to take the long view on these things. You have to zoom out. And I get it. It's hard as a parent. Right. Especially if it's like your first child. So you're going through parenthood the first time as this child is going through childhood. But there are times I'm just like just.
Trust, know, trust the process, right? Like just trust that this is going to work out fine. And like what's happening on this random Saturday in September does not linger or persist much beyond that day.
Meotis Erikson
There's some pieces.
Well, there's my parents always say this, and I really like this saying. I don't think it's theirs. They got it from someone, but it's a day in a lifetime. It's a day in lifetime. It's good to remember that when you're sitting at your kid's soccer game. But I also like to think of it as, and I'm a parent. I have sat at plenty of my kids' soccer games and been like, ⁓ run. Why are you standing? Right? But I'm usually the parent who's over in the corner by myself saying nothing because I have to remember, like, I think that
It's really important, and I say this to players and I think to parents, like, this is your kid's soccer journey. It's not your soccer journey. It's not my soccer journey. Like, and shame on us, anyone who works with that kid, if we ruin their journey. And I don't mean like, our job as parents and coaches is to help them along.
journey. That doesn't mean that I just say good job to everything that my player does. No, hey, listen, that's got to be with this foot, right? Or listen, you've got to improve your shooting technique, whatever it is. That's how we support them. like, think of how wrong that is, is to destroy or make someone it's not it's not my journey. have a journey. We as adults all had whatever our journey was. Let's not ruin
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
these kids journey because their journey most of them isn't going to end in as a professional athlete. So really when you put it in perspective, let them look back on this time and let it be happy. Let it be with bumps. Don't try to protect them from all the bumps either. ⁓ they're not starting. It's okay to say, hey, all right, good. A bump is okay. What are you going to do about it? Go train. Right? You want to be on the top team? I'm not going to go complain to the coach.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah.
Right, right, right.
Meotis Erikson
Right? I'm going to tell you to go work with the ball. So I think we too often we get in the way of the journey and the journey doesn't mean that it's always happy times, but we shouldn't be making it miserable. And we should be supporting them while they build resilience in the journey.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah. And with a good coach, it's going to be a great experience, right? these are kids get an opportunity to work through a lot of challenges and adversity, figure out how to solve problems, figure out even like what's the right question to ask in this moment on the field or off the field. And with a supportive setup with a coach who, you know, knows how to have conversations with kids.
Those are amazing growth opportunities for anybody. I think, yeah, like parents need to, you said it already, parents need to sit with that question of, is this so, why am I so wrapped around the axle about this? Why?
Meotis Erikson
Yeah,
we want, I'm a parent, you really want your kid to be successful, but it shouldn't be, it's like that you're so angry and agitated about it either. Then there's probably something that needs to be evaluated.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, as much as I'd love to sit here and totally solve that problem with you today, I know that's a big one and we're going to continue to see it show up on the sidelines, no doubt. But I think it's really important to call it out and to talk to it, speak to it, and really get people to ask that question of themselves and coaches as well. It's not just parents, but coaches as well.
Meotis Erikson
easy fix.
100 %
and I think I always say ya know even if you don't care about the human which we should all first put the human first I think if you only care about results as a coach or a parent then at least tell yourself a confident player plays better so the more yeah even if you're not even if you don't care if they're happy which that should be priority number one
Alf Gracombe
Yeah, if you're not helping their confidence then...
Meotis Erikson
confident players play better. Right? And so if you are just as an education piece, a coach remembering that, but also as a parent, the less stressed your kid is, the better they play. It's just, it's, plenty of evidence of that. So remembering that too.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Well, Meotis, the time has flown by and I'm so appreciative of sharing what you shared today and just your story, is really amazing. just, yeah, I think there's just so many lessons about the game and about life that's just in your own personal journey through the sport. ⁓ so thank you for sharing that.
Before we go, I have one more question for you. And ⁓ I ask this of everybody. ⁓ A resource for folks, something that either serves as a touchstone for you or maybe something you're reading now or a website or another or anything. It can be anything, a movie you saw ⁓ that you'd like to share with listeners.
Meotis Erikson
⁓ I'm going to give you two. ⁓ I like Anson Dorrance's book. I think we here in the States, ⁓ you know,
We tend to call kids ball hogs, things like that. I think he talks a lot about protecting the take on artists and creating competition for girls. I think that that's a resource that I really like. But then the other one, it's maybe sounds a little odd. I think the best thing I can say for anyone listening is ⁓ constantly ask questions and keep learning. So I think my best resource is my peer coaches. So have the philosophy as a coach that you
Alf Gracombe
Mm.
Meotis Erikson
you don't have all the answers, that it's okay not to have all the answers, and that you don't have to be perfect, watch other coaches. I have learned some of the best things from watching my peers. So if you wanna be a coach, watch other coaches, and you will learn so much. you think they're a good coach or a bad coach, I all the time will sit back and watch someone run a session and be like, ⁓ I love that, I'm gonna steal that.
⁓ you know what? think maybe they could have done this. So I think that's the best advice I have for people is don't go into the coaching world thinking you know it all, be open-minded and learn from others.
Alf Gracombe
That's a great, well, listen, as someone who has a lot of conversations with other coaches, I could not agree with you more. And in some ways you've just made a plug for the podcast. So thank you. Like go and listen to these other coaches, learn from these other coaches because you're, you don't, right. Yeah.
Meotis Erikson
I don't think you have all the answers. Yeah, because nobody does.
Alf Gracombe
And it's a dynamic environment and things change. And, you know, even as we were just talking about, you know, the girls and the women's game, like having the conversation today in 2025 is different than having that conversation in 2010 or in 2000 or whatever it might be. So, um, and that's what's so great about it. It's dynamic, it's ever evolving and we always have something to learn.
Meotis Erikson
Yeah, we always have something to learn. And I just want to thank you for having this podcast and caring about the game and caring about youth and development because ⁓ it is so important to our kids, right? That they get to, like sports brings so many things, right? To just the development of humans. And I really appreciate people like you who take the time to ask hard questions.
and have the dialogue. So thank you for your time.
Alf Gracombe
Yeah, well, thank you for coming on and having that conversation. This has been wonderful. And yeah, thanks again. yeah, ⁓ enjoy the rest of your day. Thank you, Meotis
Meotis Erikson
Thank you, you too. Take
care. Bye.
Alf Gracombe
That was a very thought provoking conversation with Meotis Erickson, whose journey from elite player to coach offered us valuable insights into both the evolution of women's soccer and the development of young athletes. Meotis shared her remarkable path from those early days playing two versus two in the backyard with her siblings to competing on the U.S. youth national team and eventually being drafted by the Boston Breakers in the inaugural WUSA league.
Several key themes emerged from our conversation. First, the critical importance of creating healthy environments for young players. Meotis emphasized that while we as parents and adults should encourage children to follow their dreams, we must also remember that this is their journey, not ours. The goal should be supporting them as they build resilience rather than trying to engineer perfect experiences or living vicariously through their achievements.
And we discussed the evolution of the women's game from increased participation and professional opportunities to the growing understanding that female athletes need training and development approaches specifically designed for them rather than simply adopting methods from the men's game. She highlighted the ongoing challenges for female coaches from the practical logistics that can come with balancing family responsibilities with coaching commitments to the persistent bias and disrespect women often encounter.
While progress has been made, it's clear there's still much work to be done in creating equitable environments. Perhaps most importantly, Meotis reminded us that the essence of good coaching is continuous learning, watching other coaches asking questions and maintaining the humility to know you don't have all the answers. As we look to the future of soccer in this country, particularly for young female athletes,
Meotis's insights offer a roadmap for creating experiences that develop not just better players, but more confident, resilient people. Thank you for tuning into CoachCraft I hope these conversations with excellent coaches are as enjoyable for you to listen to as they are for me to have. And most importantly, I hope you can take these lessons and words of wisdom into your coaching on the field with the young athletes in your community. Thanks again for listening. See you next time.
